Sing for Your Life is a biography of Ryan Speedo Green. He had a tumultuous, abusive childhood. His Adverse Childhood Experiences(ACE) score would be off the charts.. Yet now, as an adult in his 30s, he is a bass baritone star at the Metropolitan Opera. How can that be?
I have now for several years tried to understand the distinctions between differentiation of emotional functioning and other important areas of human functioning. One conclusion I still believe is that accomplishment-talent-intelligence is independent of one’s level of differentiation of emotional functioning.
That is useful to keep in mind while trying to understand the life of Ryan Speedo Green. He is an example of somebody who came from a low differentiation, low socioeconomic (SES) family , yet has reached the highest levels of accomplishment. His brother has not.
Ryan had neither a better differentiated family to rely on nor a family which had a laser focus on accomplishment and money to support stable, accomplished adult functioning. However, his raw singing talent was noticed by a succession of mentors. These knowledgeable mentors supported an intense focus on developing his singing talent.
Another variable supporting his stable adult functioning has been what appears to be a stable, sustained marriage that is a contrast to the intense instability of his childhood family. The same has been true of J.D. Vance. A stable supportive marriage stands in great contrast to the instability and turbulence of his childhood family.
With Ryan Speedo Green, we started with the low level of differentiation of his family of origin and the low SES of his childhood family. These two variables are important and are good predictors for many people. However, there are many exceptions, like Ryan Speedo Green. For him, we had to look elsewhere for other variables, which turned out to be good mentors and a stable, supportive adult marriage.
That brings us to a total of four variables that are probable influencers of adult functioning. I am pretty certain that there are more influencers than just four.
Jim Edd,
Ryan Speedo Green’s story is one of many in which a person rises above the disadvantages of a chaotic childhood. Usually they have a talent or quality that is recognized and supported by a teacher or mentor. I think an important variable is the person’s awareness that a better life is possible and their ability to respond to the positive encouragement that is offered.
In Vance’s case, it seems also to be the ability to remake himself according to whoever he needs to please, not a quality of a high level of differentiation.
Jim Edd,
I have followed your thinking over the years that socioeconomic status is important, in addition to differentiation of self, in human functioning. What you have written here is another interesting reflection, another piece of the puzzle. How amazing that human functioning is more fluid than previously believed by me. Over the years I’ve learned about the changes associated with changes in social position and social relationships. For instance, genetic expression changes immediately when social position changes. But changing social position can be challenging for many people. Knowledge is a good starting place. Thanks,
Laurie
Fascinating. Reminds me of LeBron James. If we sampled 10 adults with Speedo’s child talent, and tried to estimate DOS, what variation would we see in life outcome? I would guess capacity for steady focus would be a factor. If we could ever measure DOS scientifically, I guess we’d find its predictive value varies alot. Another possibility is that the concept of DOS is only partially real. It may be in the direction of something more completely descriptive of human nature. Now I need to go listen to Speedo sing.
Thanks so much Jim Edd. I find this so interesting. When one person seems to have a life so different than what they came from, I am left with some questions. 1/ I wonder how much that is a motivator, to be different than the family one grew up in, and 2/ how much is it a somewhat higher level of DoS which means more of the undifferentiation is absorbed elsewhere. And 3/ how does a special talent serve to enhance one’s functioning. And how does the response of others to the gifted one enhance functioning or impinge on functioning.
Victoria: Here is a reply to your very interesting post. I could not get FEST to save and submit it. ???
Jim Edd, I remember research on those from disadvantaged history who became successful identified 2 factors: an outside influence, like a mentor or teacher and a positive relationship with a spouse. The research also reported that these folks did have a higher than average level of physical symptoms. I’d say one must broaden the facts of functioning to determine the level of differentiation and include physical symptoms and reproduction and “mental health” symptoms (anxiety, depression, etc.)
Wish I could remember citations for this research, but alas it was too long ago.
Jim Edd:
Victoria,
Thanks for your comments. They expand my points.
Ryan was violent and unmanageable as a child, social symptoms. He was labeled that by his elementary school teachers, except for one, Mrs. Hughes, who saw something in him and was able to establish a relationship with him. That year, he had less of the social symptoms, but they weren’t absent.
In the period before age 6,he and his brother repeatedly saw intense reciprocal spousal abuse. Then, his parents separated, and he never saw his father for the next 15-20 years.
After his parents separated, he and his mother continued with a similar reciprocal abuse.
At age 12, he was placed for a year in an institution for unmanageable children. His self control improved some, but most importantly he vowed to himself to never be in such a place again.
I won’t recount all the important features of his life with the mentors. I will comment on stable marriages. By themselves, they are not a feature of differentiation. They provide a context in which a couple can support each other’s good functioning or poor functioning. Stable environments support whatever level of differentiation is already there. Not a feature of better differentiation.