Bowen theory and Vedic wisdom are distinct bodies of knowledge. But how complimentary are they? Among the traditional methods of growing basic self in Bowen theory, is transcendence a viable addition? Many Bowen theorists agree that meditation, like exercise, can help people cope and function better. But can it do more? This essay continues my exploration of the theoretical question “Can meditation raise basic self?”
Transcendental Meditation is a general term for any meditation that brings an awake mind to the quiet place beyond thought. The popular modern practice, TM, is a modern version of an ancient method. It is practiced twice daily, usually for 20 minutes. When practiced properly, it is ingeniously effortless, a mental technique that does not require any belief or lifestyle. Transcendence is a specific mind/body experience with empirically validated physiological and neuro-physiological markers (See “The Brain is a River not a Rock” by Dr. Fred Travis).
During TM today my mind got quieter and quieter. I observed it moving toward the now familiar state of transcendence. Thoughts seemed to slow down. When transcendence emerged, I was awake but free of any thought. This experience of silence is starkly different from a thought “about” silent transcending. It was not an “out of body” or “surreal” experience. Transcendence comes and goes during meditation, alternating with more typical mental activity. There is no effort to try to transcend in TM.
With the quiet came an expanded sense of inner space. My mind felt wide open, like a clear night sky. Occasional thoughts appeared within, passing like clouds. It was natural and enjoyable. Transcendence brings a distinct sense of emotional fullness, peace and wellbeing. A half smile spread over my face. The expanded quality of transcendence was experienced as myself- “I am This”.
After meditation, I went upstairs to my porch to start this essay. I tapped this sentence while enjoying the sounds of my daughter’s birthday party with friends in the backyard. I saw my wife and older daughter smiling as they hosted the party. I was free to join in, or not.
A skeptical psychiatrist reading this description might wonder if the writer is experiencing grandiosity, mania, or hallucination. Grandiosity is the opposite of this, as when an anxious person considers the content of their thoughts and personality to be unbounded. In transcendence, the personality is quietly fulfilled, but in the back seat. The transcendent state is not “mine”, it is felt as a gift of human nature.
I’ve seen mania first hand, and this is not it. Mania isn’t quiet.
I’ve hallucinated twice, on LSD in 1981. When I learned TM I followed my teacher’s standard advice to stop experimenting with drugs. In hallucination the mind is very active, not silent.
Functionally, I am engaged. I have had an enjoyable and dynamic week of activities with my family, leadership consulting business, and our non-profit Vermont Center for Family Studies. This year I feel more creative, sometimes struck with an insight after meditation that solves a complex work puzzle in a novel way. I sleep great. I eat in a more balanced way, freer from life-long habits such as too much sugar and ice cream. My work seems more service oriented lately, less driven by a need to prove something to myself. I seem more decisive, less prone to dithering uncertainty and doubt. When faced with a thorny professional puzzle, I am more often blessed with the attitude “I will do what I can today, and let the future unfold in time.” My wife says I am warmer, and more patient with my kids when they are stressed. I am also more patient with my neighbors. I feel more surges of warmth for my mother, who has often irritated me. When her anxiety is up, and her voice becomes pressuring, I experience warm non-reactivity to her tone.
The skeptical Bowen thinker in me wonders if I am experiencing a rise in functional self, buoyed by success, or worse, borrowed from my wife or offspring? A rise in basic self should raise all boats in time.
According to Dr. Bob Noone, a Bowen theory scholar, Murray Bowen had a very unique definition of science. I spoke with Noone at the “Bowen theory and Mindfulness” conference in Chicago this summer. For Bowen, “science” was not essentially a verb. More than a method or practice, Bowen considered science to be “What is.” If differentiation is “What is” it is part of nature. As long as there are humans, it will exist. Perhaps aspects of it have been explored before, in different languages.
Like “Science” the words “Differentiation” and “Transcendence” have noun and verb forms. The verb forms are practices, as in “effort to differentiate from the family of origin”, and “transcendental meditation”. Though the practices are completely distinct from each other, there may be complementarity between them, if their noun forms point distinct language-bound fingers toward a single living experience.
My experience of transcendence unites me with others, but it also appears to ground me in a source of integrity that leaves me more free from attachment to them. My dependence on what they do, or don’t do to fulfill my needs and desires is naturally diminished by the sense of fullness emerging from within.
The following paragraph, written by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, a modern representative of the ancient Vedic tradition of knowledge, expands upon this point. In the quote, “Being” is synonymous with transcendence:
“The maintenance of Being at the level of experience does not allow a deep impression of the object on the mind; the impression is just enough to give the experience of the object, just enough to allow the perception to be. Because the mind is full of the value of Being…the impressions of the experience of the transitory nature of the objects naturally fail to make a great impression in the mind…. It is like the impression of a line on water which is drawn but simultaneously erased…. Without Being in the mind, the impression of the object is like the impression of a line drawn on stone, difficult to erase.” -The Science of Being and Art of Living
If one reads these words again, but substitutes the words “basic self” for the word “Being”, and also substitutes the words “family of origin” for “objects” (as I have done in the modified quote below) the meaning of differentiation of self is clarified:
“The maintenance of basic self at the level of experience does not allow a deep impression of the family of origin on the mind; the impression is just enough to give the experience of the family of origin, just enough to allow the perception to be. Because the mind is full of the value of basic self…the impressions of the experience of the transitory nature of the family of origin naturally fail to make a great impression in the mind…. It is like the impression of a line on water which is drawn but simultaneously erased…. Without basic self in the mind, the impression of the family of origin is like the impression of a line drawn on stone, difficult to erase.”
Bowen theory has much to offer meditation communities, who face the same interpersonal challenges as any other human group. And meditation may offer those pursuing the growth of basic self more than has been recognized.
Erik,
Thank you for this interesting and well-written little essay. I like the way you describe the quiet lying underneath of or independent of thought. I agree with your last statement. As I consider my own limitations, I look back on various times of mindfulness and transcendence over years and the value to me, though intermittent. It seems to me that you are fortunate in having one practice, rather than trying this, and trying that, as many of us have done. I think I have stayed with Bowen theory, even in struggles, and that commitment has helped. I look forward to finding my way with meditation and tai chi, but the consistency is a work in progress. Your essay is an encouragement. Regarding your question of whether an increase in differentiation of self has occurred through other practices, without Bowen theory, I would guess that might be possible with a sustained practice of meditation, but I don’t know.
Erik,
There are many points to think about in your essay. One aspect that strikes me as most relevant to differentiation of self if the experience you describe of being free from attachments. I wonder if being free of concerns about self, worries about one’s own safety or security, would be a state of mind that would move self toward freedom to take a position on an issue in the family or elsewhere. My understanding is that differentiation of self is expressed on an action level: this is what I am willing (or not willing) to do. The “I-position” is accompanied by anxiety. How will others react or respond? So, as one who does not experience transcendence, I ask you whether or not you find it helps you deal with the anxiety around taking positions in relation to people important in your life.
Thank you for this question Stephanie. Yes, the more awareness of the transcendental aspect of self, the freer I seem to take positions despite disapproval. Interestingly, I’m more kind at the same time.
I believe differentiation is essentailly a mind/brain state grounded in the relationship between the higher and lower brain centers. All states of awareness are expressed in action. More self allows people to take responsible stands in relationships. The centerpiece of Vedic literature is the Bhagavad Gita, where the hero Arjuna is faced with his duty to defend his people against his uncle and cousins, who he loves, but who are behaving very irresponsibly. He learns to contact the his essential self, and then takes action to fight the necessary war from a differentiated mindset.
Thanks Erik – very thoughtful piece. I have known people who have made a life commitment to TM and learned from them the value it had. It makes me want to learn more about it.
Beautifully written, Erik.
Might it be that I experience something like transcendence at times when I walk or do my classical stretches or after completing something from my self over the objections of my emotion and/or my dear ones. Because I relate the feeling I have at those times to they way you describe transcendence.
Bowen in the postgraduate training course in the late seventies taught that running, and meditation and biofeedback were all methods or techniques of managing anxiety. It’s a fact to me that when anxiety is down self is up.
Maybe if one is disciplined about practices that lower their anxiety this is in itself a function of basic self.