This is an experience report from this week’s 2-day Differentiated Universal Self Transcendental Meditation Retreat. This is a kind of research report.
February 1, 2026
The first meditation on Friday morning was deeper than those prior to the retreat. What does that mean? There was a larger quantity of inner silence during the 20 minutes of TM. Less noise in the mind. The signal to noise ratio was that of a high-fidelity sound system. I experienced the signal of universal self with less of the noise of the individual self during TM. The individual self I’m referring to could be thoughts about the future or past. Not necessarily even stressful thoughts, they could be thoughts about planning future activities or reviewing something that happened to me. Or they could be worried or irritated thoughts. Such thoughts were quieter during meditation and afterwards, extending into this morning. Thoughts were even totally absent for some minutes during TM. In their place stood longer periods of pure awareness, silent wakefulness without thoughts. I was aware of self but without thoughts. The was no sense of being out of the body. The ground of Being revealed itself in the inner silence. There were 2-3 minutes straight of that mental stillness- allowing me to notice the inner silence, feel it’s qualities, learn about it. The qualities of the universal self, pure consciousness itself, are expansion, unboundedness, freedom, delight, peace. When such clear transcendence happens, there is always a big inner smile. Then thoughts returned to overshadow the universal self for some time, before it silence returned for another minute or two. In past retreats there have been such stretches that lasted 15 minutes or more. Here was more transcendence than has happened in months. How does that happen? On the very first meditation of the first day of the retreat? Could it be a group effect? Could the group meditation pull the individual mind more fully into its universal self? Could it be the level of intention? Certainly, the structure of the retreat is a factor. Slowing down, removing distractions, gentle yoga and breathing to prepare for meditation. It is a mystery.
During the break between meditation rounds my life Sarah said the same thing happened for her.
Then, resting after the 2nd round of meditation in the bedroom, I looked out the window at the little winter birds in the cedar bush. I felt tangibly contented with a sense of beauty- like an artist. I experienced heightened awareness of the beauty of the window itself, its clarity, and the green cedar bush, so alive in the January cold, and the birds flitting in and out of its green branching arms, their protector. I experienced a deeper sense of unity with the chickadees and nuthatches as fellow living beings. We both dance through the air- busy and alive. I felt joy in the movement of these winter birds at the feeder. I felt a sense of joyful rhythm in them. I gazed with full attention and had an urge to try and paint this image. In my life I have rarely had the urge to create visual art. Poems have appeared to me at times, but a visual sense of artistic beauty, of wanting to paint the beauty of a scene, has only emerged in me in the past decade. It consistently appears during retreats or deeper TM experiences. This is the only time it happens.
I never have the urge to compose music. Will this appear too someday?
These experiences give me a deeper understanding of what art is. I understand why AI could never create great art without a human artist’s guidance. This is because the essence of great art is the conscious qualitative experience of beauty.
During our retreat discussions, I felt a rich sense of emotional and mental evenness. I noticed a steady, worry-free quality in my mind. It was the simplicity of just being, without the noise of worry, anger, frustration. I was freer of my habitual sense of my responsibility for the others, while feeling more patient with them. The Minneapolis situation has disrupted my equilibrium lately, and it went quiet at the retreat after about 3 hours. I was still aware of it, could think about it, but felt less captured by fearful irritated thoughts. In their place was a sense of spaciousness, a quiet background sense of joy and appreciation and faith in life.
Yesterday, and again this morning upon awaking, I felt a rich sense of my wife’s beauty. I overflow with a sense of her feminine beauty. Sarah is experienced as a representative of something eternal, the soft loving attraction of a healthy adoring husband for his wife. I have a happy sense of the effect of woman on man, the softening influence of the feminine on the masculine principle. Shakespeare was onto this too. I sense a transcendental quality to her feminine beauty today. I am filled with appreciation for her soft curving material form, the warmth and smoothness of her skin, the music of her voice, her soft breathing, but with a richer sense of its universal aspect. The soft roundness of the divine feminine spirit.
How does this relate to differentiation? The direct experience of the universal aspect of self- awareness without content- is by its nature separate from the individual self. It is the backdrop, the foundation of the individual self. When it awakens within the individual mind, it provides differentiation of self.
Hi Erik,
I like reading your writing about transcendence. Interesting that it seems to trigger a somewhat related experience in myself, as though my being has a memory of it and almost spontaneously returns to it when it has an opportunity.
I thought that what you did as a report on your experience interesting, using research oriented approach to describing your experience, and then asking questions about what deepens it for you. Trying to place subjective experience in an objective context.
Creativity: we are surprised by it, whether poetry or painting. It is seeing something in words or pictures that is deeper than words or pictures, a glimpse into what cannot be said in words and pictures, or something like that, ineffable.
Once again, Erik, you put the experience you have in this transcendental state into words that help me understand it. One thing I take away is the part that the deepening connection with nature plays, the heightened experience of beauty as you become increasingly attuned to all of the beauty that surrounds you, especially Sarah’s beauty. I haven’t been able to get too far in achieving this experience, but the idea of attending more deeply to the beauty of the world is more useful. Thank you.